Exercise #4 Part 2

            Although it may seem trivial, saying “thank you” really goes a long way. People in today’s society do not say thanks enough, either because they are lazy, or they just don’t think about it. However, being polite is extremely powerful; it can make someone’s day a lot brighter, which can have lasting effects. Last week, for one day, I made a conscience effort to be more polite, and not just to people I know, but to those I don’t know as well. The results were greater than I could ever have expected.

            In the beginning of the day, thanking people took some effort. Granted, I am typically a polite girl, but I wanted to make sure that I go above and beyond today. So, as I was walking into school, instead of going right to my normal spot, I stayed outside, and held the door for the person coming up behind me. Now this person wasn’t right behind me; she was just getting out of her car as I was going into the school. I debated with myself if I should wait and keep holding the door until she came, or if I should just go on inside like I normally would. Because today was my polite day, so I waited and held the door. It was a good thing I did, too, because she was carrying a lot of things, and I knew that it would have been a struggle for her to open the door by herself.

            “Thank you so much!” she said with a huge smile. Although it was just holding the door, I could tell that she really meant it and was genuinely happy. That had an infectious effect, brightening my day.

            Alright, one thank you down, a whole day to go. This shouldn’t be that hard. As I was walking up the stairs of the library, I noticed that waiting for me at the top was someone holding the door.

            “Thank you!” I say as I grab the door from her hands, and I was about to walk right through into the library, when I stop myself again. Hold the door, Devon. Be polite. So I waited and held the door for the next person coming up behind me. Once again, the person, although I have never seen him before, gave me a hearty thanks, for merely holding open a door.

            I continue like this for the remainder of the first part of the day, stopping and reminding myself to thank people and be more polite instead of rushing through the day like I typically do. As the day progressed, however, being polite came naturally, and by lunch block, it required no effort at all. When I went to the bathroom in the beginning of lunch to wash my hands, I thanked the girl next to me for letting me use the sink. I also thanked her for letting me reach over to grab the paper towels. It may seem like overkill, but these excessive “thank you”s came naturally to me by then, and was not forced at all.

            At the end of the day, my last period class was in the 300s, and I had stayed after with that teacher until about 3:15. As I left the class, I thanked my teacher for the help, and looked back as I saw her face light up with a smile. The day is almost over; I don’t have to be polite for that much longer! But then it clicked: I didn’t have to make a conscience effort and force myself to be polite, it was coming naturally and I actually enjoyed it.

            Then I spotted two janitors sweeping the 300s hallway and chit chatting. Normally I would have walked right by them and continued to my car, pretending I never saw them. Today is different, and I am different. So, I stopped and thanked them for sweeping and to have a great day. This caught them off guard, because they clearly were not used to students thanking them. They both returned my thanks with a “your welcome”, showing that they were touched. Their happiness made me happy as well.

Because I left the school that day in such a great mood, I decided to be more polite and thank people more. Never before did I know how powerful a thank you can have on not only the person being thanked, but also the thanker. 

Exercise #4 Part 1

            I am blessed to say that my community fosters a surplus of genuine people, all of whom inspire me. However, there is one person in particular who I greatly look up to. She is a close friend of mine in the senior class who I really got to know better just this year. There are so many wonderful qualities that she possesses that makes me inspired to be a better person, and to be more like her. She is a genuine, good natured, hard working, funny, smart, and an all around beautiful person. I am extremely lucky to not only have her in my life, but to also call her my friend.

            This girl is an authentic person, who doesn’t have a phony bone in her body. That is extremely enlightening, because in today’s society where materialism and wealth infiltrates and corrupts even the best of people, it can be hard to find a person who is incorrigible to fakeness. Her strength to be her own person is a quality that I value and respect. Sometimes I do fall victim to societal pressures, conforming and altering who I am, due to normal teen-aged self confidence issues. However, this girl does not. Never have I once seen her falter or stray even the slightest from who she is, or show any hint of confidence issues. I look up to the quality, wishing that I too can one day be that confident in myself like she is in herself. When I am in her presence, because she is so comfortable with herself, it makes me more comfortable with myself. To have the power to make others feel more confident in them by just being so real is truly amazing. But she can.

            She is also one of the nicest people I know. It’s not the fake and forced niceness that one can read a mile away, but rather a true kind that you know is genuine. Her kindness makes people around her, even those she does not know, like her. She is extremely well liked and known for her good nature, by simply performing random acts of kindness as minute as holding the door open for everyone, saying a surplus of “thank you”s, and complimenting her friends regularly. When I am with her, I begin to mirror her kind ways, taking on a piece of her good spirit. It makes me feel better about myself and my actions when I see the happiness I am bringing to others lives. Her kindness is a pure force that infects all who is lucky enough to be around her to not only mirror her good actions, but she also makes people genuinely happier. She brings out the best and me, inspiring me to be nicer.

            Another quality of hers that I am inspired by is her strong work ethic. She has an extremely balanced life; juggling a tough academic schedule, a social life, and extra curricular involvement with Theatre. She is extremely pragmatic, and it shows through her immaculate academic profile and stock full afterschool schedule. Yet, she never is too stressed out or frantic, unlike me who finds myself breaking down on a biweekly basis. I wish that I could be as hard working and balanced as she is. I am truly inspired by her talent to keep up a full schedule, both academically and socially, while also maintaining a calm nature.

            If I were to possess the qualities that inspire me about my friend, I would find myself doing some great things. I would have more confidence in myself and my abilities, which would allow me to take more risks, and thus reap more rewards. I would not be fearful of failing or embarrassment, two things that currently hold me back from doing certain activities. I would also have a more balanced schedule and thus have more time to help others in my community, bringing happiness not only to their lives but also to mine. I am going to make a conscience effort to be more like my friend, and to better my life and the lives’ of those around me.

Happiness Project Assignment

                After completing this unit, I have learned a lot about what a fulfilling life is, and how to achieve it. The “good life” is one that is full of happiness. Every aspect of life, be it work, family, friends, or hobbies, should contribute in a positive manner to ones over all cheerfulness. A flourishing life usually involves being surrounded by people you love and who love you. You know that you are living a “good life” when you wake up in the morning and you can’t wait to start the day; you can’t wait to be happy and you look forward to taking part in all of life’s activities, for they all bring you bliss. To be happy, it does not matter if you are extremely wealthy. Money does not affect ones over all happiness; however it is important that you have enough money to sustain yourself, because when you start to fall below the poverty line, sorrow is not far behind. Another aspect to living an exultant life is variety. As shown in the movie Yes Man, Carl used to say no to everything, and instead of living an exciting life full of new adventures, he stuck to his basic, daily schedule, turning down every invitation he got. Because of that, Carl was extremely unhappy, and it wasn’t until he stepped out of his comfort box and began taking on new experiences that he finally felt happy and satisfied with life. But not everyone lives a happy life. It takes some work. However, everyone, if they put enough effort in, can live a flourishing life full of happiness. For this project, I chose to look closer at a girl whose life is blessed, yet she is still not the happiest she can be.

                The girl I chose to create a happiness program for lives a fairly typical life. She is a hard working teenager, who has high goals and aspirations. The main cause for her unhappiness comes from stress and self-inflicted pressure. She puts pressure on herself to match up with her two successful sisters, her friends, and her other family members. Even though it is not intentional, she is constantly comparing herself to those around her; her envious tendencies end up causing her a lot of unhappiness. Envy is one thing that is very detrimental to one’s happiness. When you are constantly looking over the fence at what other people have, and not being happy with what you have, you are let down and filled up with sorrow. Because she has issues with comparing herself to others, she finds herself unhappy. She also inflicts pressure upon herself to level up with these people, and that causes her stress, anxiety, and therefore grief. Another cause for her stress is her goal for perfection. She spends a lot of her time doing hours and hours of school work in hopes of achieving that glorious A on her report card, like both of her sisters have in the past. However, grades are not everything, and one can be successful and happy with life even if one isn’t a straight A student. The pressure that she puts on herself to be great academically causes her insane amounts of stress, and leads to unhappiness; she stresses out leading up to, during, and after every exam. The leading cause to unhappiness and stress in life is the pressure that she puts upon herself to be perfect, like the people she is constantly comparing herself against.

                There are several things that she can do to make her life more enjoyable and less stressful. First, she needs to overcome her major problem with comparing herself to others. To do this, I have told her that instead of spending time over analyzing people and situations, she should fill up her extra time doing things that she loves, with people she loves. That way, if she is always preoccupied with different activities, she will find herself enjoying her days more and comparing herself with others less. She should follow the laughter and fun strategy for living a happy life. The strategy says that if you spend your time doing things that are fun and make you laugh, then you will in turn be happy. The logic behind it is, when you are laughing, you physically cannot experience sadness or emotional pain. So if you find activities that make you giggle, you will also find yourself “laughing away your worries”. This girl has no problem with laughing and enjoying herself, it is just the issue of finding time to enjoy herself. If she can eliminate the useless time spent over analyzing situations and comparing herself to others, then she will have time to laugh more often, and therefore she will find herself being happier.

Another thing that she needs to do before she can have a flourishing life is she needs to accept herself for who she is. There is no way that she can learn to truly love others and enjoy life before she loves herself. Mr. Rogers, a man known for his optimism and happy visage, always stressed the importance of loving and understand all people, for when you love others, that love is reciprocated. Although loving yourself may sound like a simple task to do, it is not so easy for this girl. The pressure she puts upon herself to level up with her peers and siblings is insane. She is always self-aware and focuses on her imperfections. Because she only sees herself for the flaws she has, she is saddened. She needs to find a way to be less critical about herself, and channel Mr. Roger’s optimism. For that problem, I told her that she should spend a little time everyday going over a list of things in her life that she is thankful for. When you reflect on all the things that you are thankful for, it makes you happier because you realize how lucky your life is. And after she spends enough time generating these lists, she will finally realize that she has a lot to be thankful for, and plenty of reason to love her life and herself.

Spending more time in nature and outside, I told her, will also make her happier. This past week, since the weather has been lovely, she has been outside doing homework. Usually doing homework causes her stress and unhappiness, but since she was outside, it made the process not that bad. This happiness strategy is called biophilia. It says that when you are outside and immersed in nature, you will find yourself in a calmer and happier state of mind. Nature has a powerful calming and peaceful force that truly puts the people in it in a more pleasant state of mind. Spending time outside, like going on more hikes or simply doing homework on her deck, will make her a lot happier.

Living a happy life is not easy by any means, but it can be accomplished by anyone who is willing to try. This girl on the outside seems to live a happy life, but in reality there are things that she can be doing to make her life even more pleasant. The major source of her unhappiness comes from self-inflicted pressure that she has due to her envious and over-analyzing tendencies. To become happier, I told her, she first needs to stop putting too much pressure on herself, love herself for who she is, and spend more time doing things that will truly make her happy. Examples of that include being outside and hanging with the people she loves and who love her. This girl needs to stop spending time stressing out about life, and instead, spending time enjoying it. She needs to take the same advice given to Carl in Yes Man and, “Live your life! You won’t regret it!”. For when she does that, she will find herself living a flourishing and “good” life at last.

Exercise #3 Part 2

                Fear is a powerful force that can take hold of any situation, and insinuate negativity throughout. Everyone, no matter how old they are or what nationality they are from, experiences fear at some point in their lives. Fear can be in the form of the minutest of things such as caterpillars, to more abstract concepts like love or death. For me, I am afraid of a lot of things. Not all of my fears are the most serious, but they all, for the most part, cause me extreme anxiety and inhibit me from carrying out some activities that I may have wanted to take part in. Five things that I am afraid of are walking my dog in the dark, leeches, ticks, relationships, and death. After reading the different options for this particular assignment, I was very apprehensive of picking this one. But I decided that if I don’t face my fears now, then it will be harder to face them later on in life.

                The fear that I tried to overcome was my fear of walking my dog at night. Granted, Sharon is a very safe town, and rarely does one hear of any night time murderers or attacks, but that still did not stop me from being afraid of going out at night. I would always make my mom or dad take my dog Molly out once it got dark, because they knew how afraid of it I was. But I made a conscious choice to tackle this fear once and for all. So last Friday night, after I got back from my last festival rehearsal, and I told my mom that I was taking Molly out, she was shocked. She told me to not worry and that nothing would happen. I agreed with her, put Molly on her leash, and headed out the door.

                Once I shut the front door, and walked out of the small light casting down from my front porch, fear set in. Almost automatically all of my worst fears regarding the dark (murderer, rapist, rabid animals, etc) crept through my mind, causing me to stop in my tracks. I was about to turn around, when I felt a tug on the leash in my hand. Looking back, I saw Molly wagging her tail at rapid speed, with a big smile on her face. I knew that she needed to go to the bath room, and that I needed to conquer my fear, so I took one big, deep breath, closed my eyes, and continued on the walk.

                I advanced down the street, focusing only on my dog right in front of me, so that my eyes wouldn’t wander, and I wouldn’t be scared of the typical woodland creatures that live in my neighborhood. This worked, and before I knew it I had reached the end of my street. I was ecstatic! I couldn’t believe that I made it all the way down my street at nighttime, without turning back or being afraid. This extra boost of confidence made the walk back to my house so much easier, for I wasn’t afraid anymore.

                I am so glad that I conquered my fear of walking outside at night. Now I can take that experience, something that used to bring my anxiety and nerves, and turn it into a happy one. I now know that for me, one way to conquer a fear such as walking outside at night, is by distracting myself and focusing in on one thing to take my mind off of what it is exactly that I am doing, kind of like Flow. Instead of doing the typical Flow examples of counting tiles or finger tap combinations, I honed in on my dog and her walking patterns, and before I knew it I was already half way done with the walk. Now I am able to walk outside at night, conquering my fear, and actually enjoy myself. On the walks I can clear my mind, as I am surrounded by the crisp, fresh air, and the nature around me. I can honestly say that I even look forward to those nightly walks. By conquering that fear, I am more confident that someday I can conquer my other fears as successfully as I did this one.

Exercise #3 Part 1

Love Exercise 3 Part 1

75 Simple Pleasures

1.       Chocolate chip cookies

2.       Baking cookies

3.       Pumpkin Iced Coffee

4.       Patting my dog

5.       Going on a walk with my dog

6.       Stepping on the crunchy leaves

7.       Skipping

8.       Laughing

9.       Eating a crisp grape

10.   Blowing bubbles

11.   Running through sprinklers

12.   Shopping

13.   Eating ice cream

14.   Strawberry picking

15.   Apple picking

16.   Blueberry picking

17.   Making a smoothie

18.   Saying hello to people in the hallway

19.   Giving hugs

20.   Receiving hugs

21.   Making lemonade

22.   Brushing my hair

23.   Getting a hair cut

24.   Painting my nails

25.   Smell of clean clothes

26.   Taking a bubble bath

27.   Walking on the beach

28.   Playing in the sand

29.   Building a sand castle

30.   Reading a nice book

31.   Talking to an old friend

32.   Doodling

33.   Calling my grandma

34.   Skyping with my cousins

35.   Jumping through waves

36.   Doing cartwheels

37.   Playing in the snow

38.   Going on a run

39.   Playing field hockey

40.   Walking bare foot on grass

41.   Hula hooping

42.   Watching The Other Guys

43.   Dancing

44.   Doing yoga

45.   Going jazz squares

46.   Chugging an entire water bottle as fast as a can

47.   Peeling an orange in one peel

48.   Unwrapping a Hershey Kiss

49.   Listening to Move Your Feet

50.   Dancing when no one’s watching

51.   Smell of freshly brewed coffee

52.   Walking into Whole Foods

53.   Watching the sunset

54.   Watching the sunrise

55.   Laughing so hard you cry

56.   Writing on the first page of a new notebook

57.   The smell of a new book

58.   Doing well on an exam

59.   Playing Just Dance on Wii

60.   Sleeping in late

61.   Brunch

62.   Hanging out with friends

63.   Taking the train

64.   Going on a boat

65.   Kayaking

66.   Driving down a wide street

67.   Painting

68.   Sewing

69.   Singing in the shower

70.   Tie-dying a t-shirt

71.   Drawing a smiley face onto a steamy window

72.   Playing with my dog

73.   Walking on the ridge of the sidewalk

74.   Making snow angels

75.   Having family dinners

This past Saturday, I tried to incorporate as many simple pleasures as I could in order to make my day brighter and more enjoyable. I played Just Dance on Wii with some of my cast members of The Cripple of Inishmaan, I went on a nice walk with my dog in the morning, I laughed as much as possible (which, I know, is very hard to believe;)), I gave and received many hugs after we lost in semi finals, and when I came home that night, I sang extremely loudly in the shower to Maroon 5. Although the day should have been a sad one, because we didn’t move on in the theatre competition, it actually was one of the best I have had in a while. I made sure that I was going to make the most out of that day, by not only doing some of the things listed on my “simple pleasures” but also by keeping up a positive attitude. At first it was hard to be optimistic and happy, but as the day continued, and my stress decreased, genuine happiness set in.

One thing that really helped make my day happier, was laughing. I usually laugh a lot, but on Saturday I made sure to laugh even more. It was like during the laugh yoga class: at first the laughing may be forced and awkward, but after I while it becomes genuine and contagious. Laughing really did make my day a brighter one, bringing true happiness to not only me, but the people around me who caught my case of the giggles. People at the host school knew me as the “giggle girl”, for I was always smiling and laughing. That made me happy to know that I was being associated and known for a good quality, making my day brighter.

I also made sure that I would try to interact with more people and say hello more often. Although the simple act of greeting somebody may sound trivial, it actually had a huge impact on my day. Because I was friendlier than usual, I had a chance to meet and get to know people that I normally did not talk to. New friendships rapidly blossomed out of my greetings, which led to some great experiences and happy moments. I’m really glad that I stuck with my extroverted pact on Saturday, for it made my day, and future days to come, more enjoyable out of the new friendships that I formed.

Along with new friendships that were created from being more social on Saturday, I also had a great day due to the experiences that I got involved in. Normally, I would not be the one to dance with strangers, but on Saturday I did. Set up in the main room was a Wii game with Just Dance. Because I was making an effort to complete as many simple pleasures as possible, I grabbed two of my friends from the cast, and ran over to the dancing area. There, we had a ball dancing goofily and laughing hysterically at the dance moves that we were required to do. I’m really glad that I did that, and broke out of my shell, because I ended up having a great time, sharing lots of laughs, and making new dance friends in the process.

All in all, my day was very enjoyable. I had a set plan to try my hardest to keep up a happy attitude, while also completing some of my listed simple pleasures. By successfully taking part in many of my pleasures, my day was completely transformed from a sad, over packed say of stressful competitions, to an upbeat, fun day full of laughing, friendships, and good experiences. From now on, I am going to make a solid attempt at completing my simple pleasures more often, for they truly made my day, and me, extremely happy.