Exercise #2 Part 2: Things Taken For Granted

It is easy, especially today, to take things for granted. As a society, we are programmed to always look ahead and keep pushing forward, forgetting to stop for a second and actually absorb all of the wonderful things taking place around us. These past 2 weeks or so, I have been more aware of this growing problem that I find myself falling victim to. A major focus of anger and resentment that my peers and I have to deal with on a daily basis is Sharon High School. Instead of actually accepting what a great school we are given, and being thankful for the beautiful and enriching environment we are lucky enough to learn in, the student body (myself included) counts down the minutes to when we will be free at last from this dungeon of stress and hatred. We are constantly taking Sharon High School for granted, and hone in on the negatives instead of the enumerable positives.

            Although I have had several horrible experiences at Sharon High, I have also experienced the best of times. This is the place where I have met my best friends, the people who have helped me through the worst of times. Without going to a school that fosters friendship and good people, I would have never been able to enjoy my most prized experiences. The people that I have met through out my journey at Sharon High are some of the best people I have, and probably will, ever meet. I got a chance to meet and become closer with my two best friends, Jackie and Erin, who mean more to me than anything. If I never attended Sharon High School I would have never had the chance to let those friendships blossom into what they are today.

            Along with the friends, I also have done things in Sharon High that I have never done before, and have really come to enjoy myself. The two extracurricular activities that I have stuck with and learned to love while at SHS are field hockey and costumes. I always take these two teams for granted. When thinking of my field hockey team, my initial reaction is ouch. My field hockey team has some serious warm ups that put a lot of strain on my body, causing me physical pain. It is also an all girl team, which can sometimes be too much to handle. When there are lots of girls thrown together in the same group, drama is never too far behind. But aside from the conflicts and soreness that comes with being apart of SHSVFH, that team also is home to some great people, and even some of my best friends. By being apart of SHSVFH I have been able to make friends and grow as an athlete, a player, and even a person. I always take the team for granted, even though without field hockey my high school experience would have been completely different, and probably not for the better.

Theatre is another team that I take for granted. The Sharon High Theatre Company is not only an accepting place full of diverse kids from all groups it is also a family. Every single person in the company is so accepting and have really helped me get through the stresses that ensue at SHS. By being apart of the costume team I have also had the chance to delve deeper into a strong passion of mine that before attending SHS I never really had a chance to explore fully- fashion. Luckily SHS has a team that I can explore my creative side in a field that I love. I have learned so much by being apart of costumes, from more intricate stitches to how to alter and construct garments at an advanced level, to learning more about myself and how to work in team environment. I find myself taking this team for granted because of the stress and pressure that goes along with it, but in reality I am so lucky to be apart of the theatre family.

Not only have these two teams let me find a true passion within me, which I didn’t know that I possessed, they also let me find out more about myself than I ever would have before. By being thrown into group environments in which other people depend on me, it made it so I began to value others over myself, a quality that I didn’t really have before hand. The two teams also made it so I could expand on my communicating and compromising skills, two extremely valuable qualities that are essential when dealing with a team. I have also found a leadership quality within me that I didn’t know I possessed, but one that has led me throughout my 3 years at Sharon High School successfully. I still at times find myself taking SHS for granted, and thinking of it as only a place of hate and stress, but in reality this is one of the best places I have ever been to, and I am lucky to call myself a Sharon Eagle.

Exercise #2 Part 1: Adaptation to Items

            In today’s society, a place full of envy and materialism, people are brought up to think that the way to find happiness is through acquiring the latest object that society has deemed “cool”. One is hard pressed to find somebody who does not or has not fallen victim to this cycle of buying and adapting to the purchased materialistic things in hopes of fulfillment. I myself am also included on this very same list (unfortunately). A stand out example of an item that I could have sworn would bring me happiness in the long run, but soon after purchasing it I adapted, is my Fossil brand cross-body bag. Before this class I knew that buying the hottest gadget would not bring me bliss or complete happiness, but I didn’t really know why. Now I know that happiness does not come from things, it comes from experiences.

            My tan leather Fossil bag, the “it” bag, brought me happiness, but only temporarily. This past spring season was the emergence of the cross body bag trend, and everyone had one. But I didn’t just want to get the standard $30 Forever 21 bag with faux leather, I wanted to out do my friends. I wanted to purchase the slick Fossil bag that I have been eye balling in magazines for weeks. Unfortunately the bag was pretty expensive, and I knew that it would be foolish to spend my hard earned money on a bag that would probably be out of style come next year, but I did it anyway. I went into my room, grabbed my latest pay check, filled out my bank form, and begged my mom to drive me to the bank so that I could cash it in time for my scheduled shopping trip that coming weekend. After counting down the hours until I would finally be holding my prized bag in my own two hands, the day, at last, arrived. I headed right towards the bag section in the nearest Fossil store, scanned the displays, picked up the bag that I have been craving, and power walked to the check out line. In the three minutes that I spent waiting until it was my turn to purchase the bag, I began having second thoughts. I knew that it was stupid to waste a large amount of money on a bag, especially since I was spending my own money that I acquired through working long shifts at Wards Berry Farm, but somehow I convinced myself that this bag would be different. This bag was perfect in every way, and there would never come a day when it would be out of style. So, shaking off my worries, I handed the bag and my money over to the check out lady, and after it was successfully rung up I immediately changed over all of my belongings from my old bag into my new one.

            As I walked out of the store with the Fossil bag across my shoulder, I couldn’t have felt any better. People were looking at the bag, and then at me, in an approving way. A smile spread across my face and didn’t go away for the rest of the shopping experience- I was confident, at last, that I had made the right decision. Fortunately, my happiness that I received from wearing and purchasing the bag lasted a while.  Every time that I wore it, I would become overwhelmed with bliss as I saw the envious glances people gave me. But then eventually, the feeling went away. I would say that the happiness stopped after wearing the bag for the rest of the season, because by that point everybody owned a cross body bag. My bag was not anything special anymore, and therefore was no longer a source of happiness. What started as a prized possession, the bag eventually was added to the growing heap of other “must have” purses that took hold in the bottom of my closet.

            I think that the Fossil bag was special to me and brought me happiness for a longer time compared to other items that I own because I bought it with my own money. So, not only was I happy every time I wore it because I made people around me jealous and I fit in with the “in” trend, I was also happy because every time I wore it, I was reminded of all the hard work that was spent into saving up enough money to buy it.

            After learning about how items and things never bring true, lasting happiness I think that a better purchase I could have made with all of my hard earned money could have been a donation or a gift to somebody who needed it. Instead of spending all of my money on that over priced bag, I could have just bought the $30 Forever 21 bag, and spent the rest buying toys or clothes for the local Toys for Tots or Cradles to Crayons foundations. That way every time I would go into the mall or the store from which I purchased my donations, I would be happily reminded of the faces of the people in need who received my donations, bringing me more lasting happiness than a silly bag could ever bring.

            Happiness, true happiness that is, comes from helping others and experiences, not from things or items. Although I was convinced that my Fossil bag would be different, and that I would be happy every time I wear it, I was not. Next time I go shopping for something, I will be more aware of this, and purchase things for other people, and not just for myself.

Exercise #1 Part 2: What Makes People Happy?

            It is said that happiness is the reason for life. People, from all over the world, live their lives, for the sole purpose of finding happiness and being happy. But that happiness is not always easy to come by. Life is notorious for throwing us curve balls, attempting to steer us away from finding bliss. No matter how hard it is, however, it is our nature as people to find away to experience happiness somehow. After interviewing a series of people regarding when they are at their happiest, and analyzing the results, I have determined that we as humans are happiest when we are doing something we love or being with people that we love.

            The first person I interviewed is my mom. When asked to describe a moment of true bliss, she automatically said seeing her children for the first time: “It was as if my breath was stolen away- I couldn’t speak or breath I was so happy to see you. All that I could do was cry- cry and laugh. I have never felt so utterly happy in my entire life”. She went on to describe the perfection to which was our chubby faces, pale skin, and tiny fingers. “Letting the nurse take you from my arms to be weighed and cleaned was the hardest thing for me to do. I almost couldn’t let you go” she continued. My mom said that her kids make her the happiest she has ever felt. She has eternal and unconditional love for each one of my siblings, a feeling that can never change. To my mother, her kids, people whom she loves, makes her the happiest.

            My Aunt Denise, the second person I interviewed, also described a moment that involved a loved one. She said that the happiest moment of her life was at her wedding. Seeing her soon-to-be-husband waiting for her at the end of the aisle made her overflow with emotions, which she described as pure happiness. The thought of spending the rest of her life with the man of her dreams was the impetus to her joy. It was true love that made my Aunt extremely happy, even blissful, that day at her wedding.

            Being with his best friends, people whom he loves, is a moment of true bliss for my Dad. At first, my dad said that seeing my siblings and I being born and his wedding day were the happiest moments of his life, but because I interviewed my mom and aunt first, I made him come up with another example. He went on to describe a happy memory of a summer that he spent at his beach house with his college and high school friends. “The perfect day,” he said, “was spent at the shore with my friends, sitting on the sands from when the sun came up to when the sun went down”. To my dad, a blissful memory is one spent with the people he loves, his friends, doing the thing that he loves, relaxing on the beach.

            The last person I interviewed, my good friend Josh Levitt, said that, like my dad, a happy memory was one that was spent on the beach in Italy. Last summer Josh went to Italy, and he said that, “I have never been so relaxed and so happy than I was when I was on the beach at sunset, listening to choral music playing from my Ipod”. His immediate family was also on the beach with him, adding to the happy moment. Josh was at peace in that moment because he was relaxing, a nice change from his usual hectic lifestyle, listening to his favorite type of music, in the beautiful landscape of the beach, with the people he loves, his family.

            All of the happy moments have one thing in common- love. In each memory, either he or she is doing something he loves, or he is with the people he loves. I think that that is correct, because whenever I am doing something that makes me extremely happy, it is because I am loving what I am doing. Love is a feeling which is born out of happiness. Therefore, it only makes sense that a person is at her happiest when she is surrounded by love.

Exercise #1 Part 1: Top Strengths/ How authentic am I?

            Everybody is unique, having certain strengths and weakness that are specialized to them. After completing the survey online, I found out that my “top five significant strengths” are humor and playfulness; leadership; capacity to love and be loved; judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness; and industry, diligence, and perseverance. To get to those results, I needed to go down into myself and answer 240 questions regarding my character and what I believe. In the process of coming to those answers, I learned more about who I am as a person, and began to question if I am authentic to my strengths.

            For the most part, I live out my top strengths daily, making my actions authentic to who I am as a person. I definitely think that humor and laughter is one of my top strengths. I find it relaxing to laugh, which calms me down in my frequent moments of stress and anxiety. Because I love the feeling that laughter brings me, I try to share it with people around, so they too can find happiness. I also have an uncontrollable laughter, which I’m sure you have picked up on by now. That comes out when I feel uncomfortable and nervous, but mostly, I laugh when I find things humorous. My friends, also, tell me that I am a funny kid. I know it may come across as conceited, but I would have to agree. I have a goofy sense of humor, which comes out when I am with my friends and peers. Humor and laughter, two of my top strengths, are two characteristics to which I am authentic to.

Leadership is my second most prominent strength. Whenever I work in any type of group format, I naturally take charge. I am a good listener, delegator, and calming force which I find important in a leader. Even when I don’t mean to take charge, I end up subconsciously, once again, resuming that leadership position, guiding my group to success. I have always enjoyed being a leader. After looking into several possible career paths, I have narrowed it down to those jobs which require leadership. My top choice at the moment is going into business, because that field requires strong leadership skills. My passions and motivations for the future are all governed around my uncontrollable leadership qualities, making me authentic to that strength.

After leadership, my next strength is “loving and being loved”. I am a very compassionate and empathetic person, which allows me to get close with my friends and family. I find myself being driven by my heart and not my head sometimes, sacrificing things for my loved ones benefits. I am constantly pleasing those whom I love, and putting others before myself. That has led me to establishing long time friendships and unbreakable connections with my sister and best friend, Tyler, along with my other family members. My mom says that I have a huge heart, and I totally agree. Because of that, I am able to understand where people are coming from, and it makes me able to love and to be loved.

My next strength is critical thinking, judgment, and open-mindedness, which is one that I find myself often straying from. Sometimes, although I try not to, I can be judgmental of people based on their reputations. I am aware that I should never judge a book by its cover, but sometimes I find myself guilty of doing it to avoid being hurt by people. I am a really sensitive kid, so if I know that somebody has a reputation of being mean or lying, I avoid them so that I won’t get hurt. After completing this survey, I am going to try to be more trusting and attempt to make my own opinions regarding the new people I meet.

The last strength, regarding perseverance, I also agree with. I am a very driven kid, and I know what I want, and will not stop until I succeed. That is a quality which I find really important to have. Sometimes life is hard and throws stuff at us which makes us lose sight of our goal. By holding strong and never giving up, I am able to accomplish what I want, bringing me lots of happiness. Perseverance is a characteristic, along with my other top five strengths, which I am fairly authentic to.

All in all, I found out that I am pretty authentic to my strengths, but that I should try to be less judgmental of people.

Nozick's Experience Machine

            It has been agreed upon throughout time that the meaning of life is to be happy. Life, by nature, is full of not only happy experiences, but it is also full of extremely sad ones.  So when one is offered to take part in the Nozick’s Experience Machine- a machine that allows the user to live in a self-designed, happiness guaranteed computer program composed of illusions of happy moments- the idea of giving the offer up sounds crazy. Who wouldn’t want to be happy all the time? I know it sounds kind of absurd, but I would not partake in the experience. I would rather live a life that is spattered with sadness, but real, than live one that is blissful, yet fake.

            Happiness is something relative. You know that you are happy, because you feel better than you do when you are sad. Therefore, if you are hooked into the Nozick Experience Machine, going through only happy experiences, you can never tell when you are actually happy. When hooked into the machine, your emotions will never change; they will continuously remain at the same happy state for ever. I would not like that, because living a consistent life is boring. With no diversity in ones’ life, comes no character change. If you are never changing your emotions, then you will never change as a person, and growing emotionally is a major aspect of life. In the machine, you will never have that ability to grow and change on an emotional level, leaving out a crucial aspect of life, which isn’t worth giving up.

            The idea of the machine also freaks me out a bit. Life is supposed to be messy, and you are supposed to experience sad situations, so you can learn from them and grow. Granted, reality is not perfect, and neither is life. So if you are hooked onto the machine all the time, going through fake experiences, you are, in essence, living a reality that isn’t real. And if you aren’t living a real life, then what’s the point of living in the first place?

            I would also have to question the emotional deepness that one can experience while hooked into the machine. Building relationships with friends and family takes a lifetime to do, something that clearly cannot be completed during the course of flashes of one memory or one experience. And for this reason, the time allowed to “live” through each moment and each experience with your loved ones, isn’t enough time for you to actually create and build a real relationship. Once you start to level off in emotions, the machine automatically changes it to another moment, leaving your loved one behind in a previous memory. If you keep going through this cycle of connection-disconnection and rapid change to ensure that you will always remain at an all time high in regards to happiness, you will never truly love anyone. Love is a major aspect of happiness, and without ever reaching true love, life is incomplete. Therefore, if you never have the chance to make that legitimate connection and actually fall in love in the machine like you would in the real world, than that machine never accomplishes its goal of finding happiness.

            From the saddest of moments, one finds the most important messages. And if you go through life never being sad or mad or anxious, and only being happy, you aren’t really living. Although the machine is a good idea, and has a nice message of trying to accomplish the meaning of life, it is not completely desirable. The reason for life is to live, and if you are hooked onto a machine which does the feeling and experiencing for you, only feeding you allusions created out of the things that make you happy, you aren’t actually happy or living. Thus, if given the opportunity to hook onto the machine, I would have to decline, and instead live my real life, emotions and all.